Thursday, December 28, 2006
"To the unknown"
Date: 11 Jan, 2002
i'm cleaning out the closet.
Papers here...letters there... bookmarks... old memories... whatever... i am throwing them all away. Somebody cure me of you. Please.
No need to keep those stuff now. What was i thinking? Those things that preoccupied me before seem to be irrelevant now. This need to hang on must stop now.
THere... It's clean. Good as new. I'm all set for a new chapter... a new adventure... a new facet in my so-called life. This phase is over...
It was a great phase though. One that i would definitely look back on with a smile.
I look up... I see a star... I stop. I cross my fingers and hope. I take my eyes off the sky and stare at the dark mysterious road that lay ahead. I smile and run towards the unknown. It would take a lifetime for me to know where this path would take me. Two things i know of this path - it's hard and it's the right path. That's all i need to know.
Here's to life.
i'm cleaning out the closet.
Papers here...letters there... bookmarks... old memories... whatever... i am throwing them all away. Somebody cure me of you. Please.
No need to keep those stuff now. What was i thinking? Those things that preoccupied me before seem to be irrelevant now. This need to hang on must stop now.
THere... It's clean. Good as new. I'm all set for a new chapter... a new adventure... a new facet in my so-called life. This phase is over...
It was a great phase though. One that i would definitely look back on with a smile.
I look up... I see a star... I stop. I cross my fingers and hope. I take my eyes off the sky and stare at the dark mysterious road that lay ahead. I smile and run towards the unknown. It would take a lifetime for me to know where this path would take me. Two things i know of this path - it's hard and it's the right path. That's all i need to know.
Here's to life.
"Musings on christmas eve"
Date: 25 Dec, 2001
Running away never solves anything. You just have to confront your problem and decide right there and then that no matter what, your identity still remains intact. Never let go of who you are. I tried letting go but it landed me nowhere. I tried hiding but i came back to where i started... It was a couple of hours ago that i realized where i really belonged...where home really was....
I think peace comes when you accept who you are, when you acknowledge your dreams and decide to pursue them, no matter how big the challenges you will encounter. It is easy to follow someone when the future is bright, but it is another thing to have all your hopes crushed right in front of your face. Following would then be an ordeal. It takes God's grace and power to soar again...
* *
I didn't get the gift i wanted this christmas ( hahaha very selfish i know... ). Actually i loved the gifts i got but i was hoping to receive this particular gift... unfortunately it didn't come... Oh well, maybe next time. I'm crossing my fingers on that one.
Running away never solves anything. You just have to confront your problem and decide right there and then that no matter what, your identity still remains intact. Never let go of who you are. I tried letting go but it landed me nowhere. I tried hiding but i came back to where i started... It was a couple of hours ago that i realized where i really belonged...where home really was....
I think peace comes when you accept who you are, when you acknowledge your dreams and decide to pursue them, no matter how big the challenges you will encounter. It is easy to follow someone when the future is bright, but it is another thing to have all your hopes crushed right in front of your face. Following would then be an ordeal. It takes God's grace and power to soar again...
* *
I didn't get the gift i wanted this christmas ( hahaha very selfish i know... ). Actually i loved the gifts i got but i was hoping to receive this particular gift... unfortunately it didn't come... Oh well, maybe next time. I'm crossing my fingers on that one.
"A new ending"
Date: 22 Dec, 2001
"No one can go back and create a new beginning, but everyone can start now and create a new ending.."
True. Whoever said this had a lot of insight. We humans have a tendency to complicate matters. We start out clean but eventually we become jaded (Matchbox 20, i know). It is not that we purposely set out to become jaded, hell, we actually start with noble purposes... but somewhere along the way, we compromise such values in exchange for momentary things...
We find ourselves trapped in our own maze. We lose our freedom to do what we really want to do. Take for example saying the words "i love you". Ironically, these three letter words are so easy to say when you don't mean them, but very very hard to say when you really mean it. What's with that? I guess there is this need to have it reciprocated, God knows how a heart could break if it isn't. So we choose self preservation over honesty...to remain silent than to have our heart wrenched out of our chest... We choose our own prison. It is not a nice place, but at least it is our own.
The good news is, we could start from now and get a new ending. Hope is such a nice word. It is even a better verb. The future is what we make it. With God's guidance, we could still go back to the way things were meant to be. Perhaps that is why Christ came into this world. God just couldn't wipe off the fact that Adam sinned. He just couldn't wipe off the fact that we humans have a tendency to deviate away from his perfect love... but he could come down, he could become a human and show us the way... he could offer us a brand new ending... and that is exactly what he did, two thousand years ago.
Merry Christmas
"No one can go back and create a new beginning, but everyone can start now and create a new ending.."
True. Whoever said this had a lot of insight. We humans have a tendency to complicate matters. We start out clean but eventually we become jaded (Matchbox 20, i know). It is not that we purposely set out to become jaded, hell, we actually start with noble purposes... but somewhere along the way, we compromise such values in exchange for momentary things...
We find ourselves trapped in our own maze. We lose our freedom to do what we really want to do. Take for example saying the words "i love you". Ironically, these three letter words are so easy to say when you don't mean them, but very very hard to say when you really mean it. What's with that? I guess there is this need to have it reciprocated, God knows how a heart could break if it isn't. So we choose self preservation over honesty...to remain silent than to have our heart wrenched out of our chest... We choose our own prison. It is not a nice place, but at least it is our own.
The good news is, we could start from now and get a new ending. Hope is such a nice word. It is even a better verb. The future is what we make it. With God's guidance, we could still go back to the way things were meant to be. Perhaps that is why Christ came into this world. God just couldn't wipe off the fact that Adam sinned. He just couldn't wipe off the fact that we humans have a tendency to deviate away from his perfect love... but he could come down, he could become a human and show us the way... he could offer us a brand new ending... and that is exactly what he did, two thousand years ago.
Merry Christmas
"Three beers and a leather jacket"
Date: 21 Dec, 2001
We had this christmas party at andy's place and it was a blast. Andy proved to be a very good hostess. Anyhoo, after the party, we decided to still go out for coffee. Jeff, a friend of mine commented about beers and stuff. He told me that i looked like someone who drank three beers every now and then. This made me and Andy laugh. I haven't had a single drop of beer in my entire life! (Yes i know, i am quite a deviate from the normal culture) I told jeff about it and he was quite shocked. He told me that i do not live up to my image. "What image is that jeff?" i asked. Jeff answered "That of an independent woman" ... (so independent = beer?) . Andy commented that it must have been my overall image. There are certain stereotypes that people have with the way other people present themselves...1 beer for my half an inch hair last year (i don't know why i went and had my hair cut from shoulder length to half an inch, but i'm pretty sure there was a good reason), another beer for my black leather coat, and another beer for going to rallies... Three beers for that. Not bad. :)
* * *
They gave out awards during the party. Not award awards, just plain funny titles. Andy got the everybody-loves-her-award, an award she definitely deserves. I got the fashion guru award. Hmmmm... Now i have to live up to that title... hahaha.
***
Coolness. WHat the heck does that mean? Cool. In high school, a classmate of mine signed my class picture saying that i was one of the coolest girls in school. She was being kind i thought. Well, maybe the fact that i really don't blow my top off over mole hills made her think i was cool. Hehehe, If only she knew.... Anyhoo, last night, we played a game wherein you describe someone and everybody tries to guess who it is. A classmate came up with the following description: cool, adventurous and not afraid to try out different things. Most shouted my name. And he told them that it was me. Awww shoot! It was christmas and he was being sweet. Maybe cool is something people ascribe to you when they don't have anything else to tell you. Hahaha. In any case, i guess i need to start drinking beers to live up to this image. Just kidding.
* *
Incubus' new song is very nice. Wish you were here is a song i agree with right now. I hope i don't agree with it that much. I'm a basket case. I refuse to cave in to thoughts of possibilities which are really impossible. Still, that song keeps on playing inside my head and i can't help but smile when that music and my thoughts get mixed up.
In the pursuit of knowledge, guinea pigs are the pawns...
Date: 15 Dec, 2001
In the pursuit of knowledge, we hurt some very innocent mice. We injected them with insulin, glibenclamide, placebo and a plant extract. Then we extracted their blood through their tails. For what? To determine if this plant could be an alternative treatment in the battle against diabetes.
It is a necessary evil, one might argue. How could we heal people if we don’t hurt mice? Hmmmm. Interesting question. Certainly it is much more evil if we experimented with humans. But hey, that is coming from the selfish human point of view. I keep on wondering if our roles were reversed and giant rats (the kind that teenage mutant ninja turtles follow around) ruled this earth and we were tiny little humans who lived on sewers. And that they would experiment with our best friends, with our father, our sisters, our pastors, our teachers (you get the point) so that they could find a cure for a disease that is afflicting them…. Inhuman we might say.
Memories of countless frogs being dissected come to my mind. I mean really now, do we really need to know what the insides of a frog look like? Do we really need to kill those poor frogs just so we could observe how the lungs work and how the heart beats? I really don’t think biology students should do such things. So what am I saying? I don’t know…
I guess what I am trying to say is this: It is a necessary evil but I think we should limit it. There are some things in which the benefit outweighs the risk and some that are really just plain stupid. We could go for virtual frogs. Let the frogs (as slimy as they are, and as you guess, I am no big fan of frogs) jump happily and live their life. Hell, they are not after us.
Those monster doctors at the department of pharmacology
Date: 15 Dec, 2001
I look up. It's 8:30 pm. I've been sitting in front of this computer since 10 a.m. Ten and a half friggin hours. No i am not surfing the net. I am doing some statistics for the experiment. You'd think that after four years of stats, i'd be good at this...Shoot. Christmas is just around the corner and here i am slaving away. I haven't bought any gifts for my loved ones... :)
I can smile now because i have just finished it. *Screams* It's a good thing i couldn't find my matchbox cd, otherwise i would have felt the frustration. I opted for the corrs to make my disposition about this whole stat thing more positive. *Chants: I love stats. I love stats. I love stats.
Can't wait for this to be over. God. The doctors in morning pharmacology are like monsters. So unlike the other doctors. It's like they combined all the nasty teachers, the ones wronged by the world, the ones who managed to shed off all their kindness and humanity, the ones who have contempt on youthful exuberance into one department. Sure they have some sort of humanity in them, they have two legs and two arms... but that is where the resemblance stops... LOL i am exaggerating here. Merry Christmas to us all!
"Pictionaries, Charades, and Congestive Heart Failure"
Date: 14 Dec, 2001
Last week, our doctor assigned us to study the case of this 80 year old patient who was having an acute exacerbation of asthma. SHe wanted us to find out whether this patient was really suffering from asthma or was it really congestive heart failure that was causing all the symptoms. So, in the spirit of cramming, we decided to solve the case the night before the presentation. The hard part about the case was the fact that the patient was uncooperative. He refused to have a physical examination and he refused to give us an interview. Hmmm. I suggested that we dress like black ninjas and come to this patient's room when everybody's sleeping. Then we could take this patient by surprise, with someone holding both his arms and legs in place and with me auscultating him.... Nobody seemed to take the idea seriously... LOL. It was a good idea though.
***
So i proceeded to my friend's apartment armed with a ten page research, markers, a medicine book, and a manila paper. I was ready to tackle this problem. I was fully armed... Little did i know that instead of books, my friends came up with vhs tapes, sodas, muffins, chips, and board games. So what did we do? We spent the whole night watching the tapes, playing charades and pictionary. The patient's case seem to have been lost somewhere in between Dr. Doolittle, Someone like you and MTV. It was only around 2 am when we realized that we needed to come up with a report in 7 hours. So what did we do? We slept. Actually, the nerd in me could not sleep. I kept thinking about the patient and how to manage him. I think it was somewhere in between the wee hours of the morning, when the rooster started crowing, that my mind finally gave in to sleep. The next morning, God smiled upon us. Classes were cancelled.
"the freakin neuropsychiatry exam"
Date: 12 Dec, 2001
One word: Arggggh!
I am not even sure if that was a word.
Okay that's it. Entry finished.
"My kryptonite"
Date: 1 Dec, 2001
During the week, I live in a scary house. Inside and out, it looks and feels like a haunted house. Old pictures, old paintings, old grandfather clocks, old mirrors, old statues, old everything. But such things don't give me goose bumps...
* *
I am a medical student. The site of a decapitated head hardly makes my stomach turn... I dissect cadavers. I could open the abdomen of a cadaver and not vomit...
* *
I live in a chaotic neighborhood. Gunshots and fraternity wars are common happenings. I have learned to live with it...
**
Nothing big really scares me... What scares me most, what really makes my hair stand, what really really makes me scream in terror is a flying cockroach inside a bathroom. My adrenaline really shoots up when this rare thing happens. Just last week, i was taking a bath when suddenly i saw this cockroach high up on the bathroom wall, attempting to fly. A loud scream managed to escape out of my throat as i immediately ran outside the shower area. As luck would have it, i forgot my towel and my head was full of conditioner. I didn't know whether i should attempt to throw everything in sight at the insect or just run. It's a good thing that hideous insect fell on the floor, otherwise i would have ran out naked and all... Not a pretty sight i think.
Bwiset
Medical school is hard enough without complicating it with matters that make havoc on your limbic system (i.e. emotions)... Need to pull through. I'm just in my second year of medical school and i have a long way to go. Damn it.
"Going back"
Date: 28 Nov, 2001
i close my eyes... breathe deeply now. i need to focus... Focus... Amidst the chaos, i find myself waiting to exhale. Why i find myself in situations like these, is a mystery. Maybe i should just stop caring. Maybe i should just stop and wait for somebody else to care...
i need to look back and find myself. Find the things that make me, me. Go and do the things that define me... The things that i want to do, not the things that i have to do.
i close my eyes and try to remember... the older one gets, the harder it gets... Think hard now. Look back and go back. Ain't that far. I need to go back...
* * *
"Second Chances"
Date: 25 Nov, 2001
I went out with a couple of high school friends of mine last Saturday night. A friend of mine, Allan, is going away to Korea and well, he is making the most of his “remaining days” here in the Philippines. Back in junior high , Allan was my seatmate. Unlike guys his age,he was the perfect gentleman. (Until now he still is…) He is always caring and polite, kinda reminds me of Brendan Fraiser in Blast from the Past. The type of guy who would open doors for women but at the same time would never be accused of being a chauvinist. Anyhoo, Allan and I were never really close. Ironically, we became good friends during college when Yna, my so-called college best friend, became Allan’s girlfriend. Being the common denominator, the role of “love probelem listener” between the two lovebirds was handed to me, a role i did not ask for, but nonetheless, a role I happily took. They had something back then. Something that made me believe in fairy tale romances. I was happy for Yna. Finally, after a series of relationships (and I mean seeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss) , here she was with Allan. The love of her life, or so she claimed. Allan was intoxicated with Yna. Yna with Allan. Unfortunately their relationship came to an abrupt end when Yna did something even I could not understand. I still remember Allan calling me up late one night and asking me “Why? Why? Why”, to which I replied “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know”. I pitied Allan then. If only I knew how to drive, I would have gone up to Allan’s place and tried to console him.
Weeks later, Yna apologized to me and told me the truth behind the mystery. I was her friend, and even though I felt betrayed by her confession, I could only say that everything is gonna be okay and that no matter what, I would still be her friend. As for Allan, he was too scarred to go back to Yna. As for Yna, she continued to love Allan, but of course she entered another relationship and another and another. Well, that was a few years ago.
***
When I came to the restaurant, I saw Allan with a very beautiful girl sitting beside her. She kinda looked like Yna. Anyhoo, I had to smile. Allan looked happy and content. The girl was charming and had a nice aura. She looked very much in love with Allan too. What is important is the fact that they looked happy together. So Allan recovered from his fairy tale disaster… I am glad that he did. Allan is a great guy. He deserves to be happy.
As for Yna, well she is into her nth relationship. She is still hung up on Allan. I advised her to stop entering into a series of relationships and find where her true happiness lies. Completeness is something she should achieve by herself… I don’t think she will ever take my advice. I hope she does, one day. For her sake.
I went out with a couple of high school friends of mine last Saturday night. A friend of mine, Allan, is going away to Korea and well, he is making the most of his “remaining days” here in the Philippines. Back in junior high , Allan was my seatmate. Unlike guys his age,he was the perfect gentleman. (Until now he still is…) He is always caring and polite, kinda reminds me of Brendan Fraiser in Blast from the Past. The type of guy who would open doors for women but at the same time would never be accused of being a chauvinist. Anyhoo, Allan and I were never really close. Ironically, we became good friends during college when Yna, my so-called college best friend, became Allan’s girlfriend. Being the common denominator, the role of “love probelem listener” between the two lovebirds was handed to me, a role i did not ask for, but nonetheless, a role I happily took. They had something back then. Something that made me believe in fairy tale romances. I was happy for Yna. Finally, after a series of relationships (and I mean seeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss) , here she was with Allan. The love of her life, or so she claimed. Allan was intoxicated with Yna. Yna with Allan. Unfortunately their relationship came to an abrupt end when Yna did something even I could not understand. I still remember Allan calling me up late one night and asking me “Why? Why? Why”, to which I replied “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know”. I pitied Allan then. If only I knew how to drive, I would have gone up to Allan’s place and tried to console him.
Weeks later, Yna apologized to me and told me the truth behind the mystery. I was her friend, and even though I felt betrayed by her confession, I could only say that everything is gonna be okay and that no matter what, I would still be her friend. As for Allan, he was too scarred to go back to Yna. As for Yna, she continued to love Allan, but of course she entered another relationship and another and another. Well, that was a few years ago.
***
When I came to the restaurant, I saw Allan with a very beautiful girl sitting beside her. She kinda looked like Yna. Anyhoo, I had to smile. Allan looked happy and content. The girl was charming and had a nice aura. She looked very much in love with Allan too. What is important is the fact that they looked happy together. So Allan recovered from his fairy tale disaster… I am glad that he did. Allan is a great guy. He deserves to be happy.
As for Yna, well she is into her nth relationship. She is still hung up on Allan. I advised her to stop entering into a series of relationships and find where her true happiness lies. Completeness is something she should achieve by herself… I don’t think she will ever take my advice. I hope she does, one day. For her sake.
$%^&*!!!
Date: 21 Nov, 2001
"Springing back"
I was kinda down for the past few weeks, for reasons only a few know. Listening to linkin park helped a bit.. actually it made me more frustrated.
I tried so hard and got so far.. in the end it doesn't even matter...
What i admire about that song is its honesty... They say that when you are down in the dumps, one should try to get out of it fast. I say, sadness is part of life and like all aspects of life, it must be embraced. Go and wallow in your sadness. Cry the tears you need to cry. Listen to all those sad songs... What is bad is when you allow sadness to control you, or when you don't cry out for help... As ronan keating said (or sang), life is one big roller coaster, you just have to ride it.
I thank God that in spite of everything (my doubts, my stubborness), He manages to show me His unending and unconditional love. Great God.
I also thank God for my "garbage dump", a friend who has been in the receiving end of my woes.
***
What I am trying to say is that i am back. THe problems are still there but I am back from the dumps. I've seen it. I've wallowed in it. I've cried in it... And i chose to come out of it. :)
"Springing back"
I was kinda down for the past few weeks, for reasons only a few know. Listening to linkin park helped a bit.. actually it made me more frustrated.
I tried so hard and got so far.. in the end it doesn't even matter...
What i admire about that song is its honesty... They say that when you are down in the dumps, one should try to get out of it fast. I say, sadness is part of life and like all aspects of life, it must be embraced. Go and wallow in your sadness. Cry the tears you need to cry. Listen to all those sad songs... What is bad is when you allow sadness to control you, or when you don't cry out for help... As ronan keating said (or sang), life is one big roller coaster, you just have to ride it.
I thank God that in spite of everything (my doubts, my stubborness), He manages to show me His unending and unconditional love. Great God.
I also thank God for my "garbage dump", a friend who has been in the receiving end of my woes.
***
What I am trying to say is that i am back. THe problems are still there but I am back from the dumps. I've seen it. I've wallowed in it. I've cried in it... And i chose to come out of it. :)
"Nylons and The XX Species"
November 6 2001
I cut class today and decided to head straight to the school's internet room. I see no point in attending the orientation. I asked my friends to just get me some handouts if ever they decide to give the class one.
I feel uneasy in these nylon stockings i am wearing. We are required to wear black leather shoes and since socks and pumps are so cindy lauper, i decided to wear nylons. I went shopping for nylons last weekend. I hate seeing legs who wear shiny nearing opaque stockings. It looks so unreal, kinda like cadaveric in nature. So i sought for those sheer type of stockings. But i was in a hurry so i just grabbed the stockings without bothering to read the label. When i finally got home, i read the labels and it read "Shiny, shimmery (and might i add glittery in the sun) stockings". Dang! I have no other choice but to wear those stupid stockings. I feel like i have tiny christmas lights wrapped around my now cadaveric legs. Argh. Why cant we be allowed to wear pants? It is such a nuisance to wear skirts, stockings and pumps. Any guy who wants to understand why women think and act a certain way l should be made to wear skirts, stockings and pumps. Then they would understand the XX species. There's a lot to understanding women than the occassional "Oh it's that time of the month" line.
I cut class today and decided to head straight to the school's internet room. I see no point in attending the orientation. I asked my friends to just get me some handouts if ever they decide to give the class one.
I feel uneasy in these nylon stockings i am wearing. We are required to wear black leather shoes and since socks and pumps are so cindy lauper, i decided to wear nylons. I went shopping for nylons last weekend. I hate seeing legs who wear shiny nearing opaque stockings. It looks so unreal, kinda like cadaveric in nature. So i sought for those sheer type of stockings. But i was in a hurry so i just grabbed the stockings without bothering to read the label. When i finally got home, i read the labels and it read "Shiny, shimmery (and might i add glittery in the sun) stockings". Dang! I have no other choice but to wear those stupid stockings. I feel like i have tiny christmas lights wrapped around my now cadaveric legs. Argh. Why cant we be allowed to wear pants? It is such a nuisance to wear skirts, stockings and pumps. Any guy who wants to understand why women think and act a certain way l should be made to wear skirts, stockings and pumps. Then they would understand the XX species. There's a lot to understanding women than the occassional "Oh it's that time of the month" line.
"Smorgasbord"
Date: 31 Oct, 2001
So what have I been doing this sem break? Nothing. Well sleeping actually. Trying to make up for all those sleepless nights in med school. I have also been helping out my parents with this case that they have. No, they are not doctors. Both are lawyers and well, I guess their blood runs thick in my veins. The case is very interesting and we were looking over the laws that could pin down this scoundrel. We were able to find the damning evidence last night and that was pretty exciting. The only downside in this is the fact that we have to go to court. My parents were hoping for an out of court settlement but this was the last resort….
Starbucks
I swore to myself that I wouldn’t be a coffee addict but God bless Starbucks’ frapuccino. Man, they are good. And what about their oatmeal cookies? It is a good thing I don’t live near starbucks otherwise osteoporosis would soon set in. Hmmm, I wonder if they are open today, october 31? I would have to get one today.
Painting
I plan to get a good oil painting book. I love to paint but I really need to be schooled at it. What to do with the linseed oil, how to clean the brushes, etc. etc. etc. Problem is, I can’t find a good painting book. I wonder if they have one in the U.S.? I hope so. I would have to ask one of my friends there to send me one…
Me, the chef
I love good food. Who doesn’t? But when it comes to cooking good food, I could scald water. My brother, whenever I cook, makes it a point to eat outside. He says poison control is too far and he may not make it. Last week, due to inevitable circumstances, I had to cook food. Now my cooking skills are limited to caramel custard (which I believe tastes great for even my brother likes it) and rice (granted that there is a rice cooker).
Cook books and I don’t mix well. The pictures they carry is much more edible than the food I cook. Anyhoo, I decided to serve steak for dinner and a couple of side dishes. The steak, miraculously, turned out to be great as well as the side dishes. My cousin couldn’t believe that she actually liked the food I served. My brother ate it and told me I got lucky. The highlight of that dinner was the soup.
Since Lea and Perrins sauce was not available, I decided to make my own gravy. One thing you have to know about me is the fact that I usually determine the missing ingredient by color. Gravies are milky brown so I guess there must be beef in it and some milk. And flour perhaps because gravies are thick. So I boiled a liter of water and put in some beef cubes. I decided that the “solution” needed to thicken because the gravies I see outside are thick. Unfortunately, we were out of cornstarch and flour. The only flour we had was cassava flour. Cassava flours, as indicated in the package, is used for both laundry and cooking. I hesitated using it since it said “laundry”, but I decided to use it anyway since it also said “cooking”. So I mixed in the cassava flour. And some milk. After about five minutes the “solution” was slightly thickened. I guess I placed too much water, and when I tasted it, it didn’t taste anything like gravy. It tasted like mushroom soup! Great mushroom soup, I might say. So I served it as soup. My family loved it, saying that it tasted like those soups being served in hotels. My brother got some and kept on laughing as I told him how it was done. My cousin took my gravy con soup recipe, planning to cook one herself. Our household help christened it as the laundry soup. :)
Joseph the dreamer, jonwell the minister
October 29, 2001
An old high school friend called me up. He invited me to go up to Sagada, some far off place where you go inside caves. The problem is, its on a school day. I was thinking of not coming to class for three days to go there. Hmmmm…. I hope he reschedules it.
This friend of mine,Jonwell, is a walking contradiction. He told me how he was recently involved in a fraternity war and then he talks about his jail ministry (he visits prisoners to share the gospel)…I asked him (sarcastically) if he was the minister or the one being ministered upon. I could never understand Jonwell. Oh well, it is not my job to understand him. I am so glad though that his mother survived breast cancer. It was stage 4 and the doctors had to do a radical mastectomy. Thank God she survived the ordeal. I don’t know how Jonwell would react if she didn’t.
Shifting topics, another friend of mine Joseph, recently passed the engineering exam and is now a certified engineer. Wow. He is an engineer already. This November, he will be studying abroad. He is taking up some sort of a masterals. He might come with us to Sagada before he leaves. What do I wish for this friend of mine? I wish him all the luck. He leaves with him two relationships gone sour. I don’t know why. He is the perfect gentleman. He is smart, good- looking, has a good sense of humor, athletic and really nice. Actually the first relationship is with my best friend and I think I have an idea why that romance fizzled out. The second relationship I think, had similar problems. So anyways I have a problem. Despite everything that happened between him and my best friend, one of my best friends is still hung up on him. Should I tell her that mr. Nice guy is leaving or not? Argh. I am torn, mr. Nice guy should be the one to tell her. But why should he tell her? My best friend needs to have some sort of closure with this guy… I guess I should just do nothing. This sucks.
An old high school friend called me up. He invited me to go up to Sagada, some far off place where you go inside caves. The problem is, its on a school day. I was thinking of not coming to class for three days to go there. Hmmmm…. I hope he reschedules it.
This friend of mine,Jonwell, is a walking contradiction. He told me how he was recently involved in a fraternity war and then he talks about his jail ministry (he visits prisoners to share the gospel)…I asked him (sarcastically) if he was the minister or the one being ministered upon. I could never understand Jonwell. Oh well, it is not my job to understand him. I am so glad though that his mother survived breast cancer. It was stage 4 and the doctors had to do a radical mastectomy. Thank God she survived the ordeal. I don’t know how Jonwell would react if she didn’t.
Shifting topics, another friend of mine Joseph, recently passed the engineering exam and is now a certified engineer. Wow. He is an engineer already. This November, he will be studying abroad. He is taking up some sort of a masterals. He might come with us to Sagada before he leaves. What do I wish for this friend of mine? I wish him all the luck. He leaves with him two relationships gone sour. I don’t know why. He is the perfect gentleman. He is smart, good- looking, has a good sense of humor, athletic and really nice. Actually the first relationship is with my best friend and I think I have an idea why that romance fizzled out. The second relationship I think, had similar problems. So anyways I have a problem. Despite everything that happened between him and my best friend, one of my best friends is still hung up on him. Should I tell her that mr. Nice guy is leaving or not? Argh. I am torn, mr. Nice guy should be the one to tell her. But why should he tell her? My best friend needs to have some sort of closure with this guy… I guess I should just do nothing. This sucks.
Stupid yearbook... to care or not to care?
Date: 22 Oct, 2001
A few years back, I believe that was senior college, our president announced the yearbook staff. Now correct me if I am wrong here, but aren’t you suppose to volunteer for such a job? Anyways, I was surprised to hear my name on the list, they told the class I was the asst. art editor. So okay, I had like no other choice but to shrug my shoulders. I mean all I had to do was come up with some “artistic ideas” right? That was the first assumption that led to my present-day grave.
Two summers went by with no one bothering to finish the yearbook. Sure they called meetings but to discuss what? If you ask me, they called meetings in order to discuss how we could top the previous meetings’ uselessness. In any case, two stupid summers went by and all we had was an unfinished yearbook. No one wanted to take responsibility for it. If you ask me, it is just a case of bad management. Anyways, people kept asking me how the yearbook was going and well, dammit, I thought, someone has got to care for this yearbook. Someone has to take responsibility. That was the second thought that led me to my present-day grave.
So I volunteered to do the job. The funny/exasperating thing when I got the zip diskette , I found out that every file had been erased. Kaput. Nowhere to be found. So what could I do but to redo the whole yearbook? DO you know how tiring that stupid job could be? But again, what could I do, I just told myself that I volunteered for the job and that I am to face the music. So anyways, I hired someone good to help me with the yearbook. He works for a local government official. I hired him at the height of political campaigns. Actually I begged him, hired would imply he needed the job, begged is more appropriate. We would work in his office until midnight. He didn’t want us to work much later as he feared for both our lives. (Since he worked for a govt official, it was inevitable that he received death threats for breakfast… the office where we work is not that safe). Imagine, I would go home late, riding a motorcycle just for that yearbook. So I finished the yearbook. Still, there were some missing pages because the “most efficient yearbook staff of the whole wide universe” failed to send it to me. Overall, I learned how to beg, how to maximize finances, how to pull everything just to finish that yearbook. Come end of this summer, i presented the work to the lay-out artists, who basically did nothing but to sit on their butts and I don’t know. They told me that they had to put in some revisions, and I told them to revise those things they deemed necessary. One semester. They had the files, they had the hard copy, and they did nothing. They did not even numbered the pictures.
Last night, I received a phone call from my editor telling me all about it. She told me we were again having another meeting. I wanted to ask if we were to meet about the recent APEC conference and the consequence of the WTC bombings and anthrax scare. Actually the meeting will be about how to make a mountain out of a mole hill and how we are to sit in one circle and do nothing. I wanted to wring her neck. I wanted to wring all the other yearbook staffers’ neck. Incompetence should be a crime. Fortunately she was on the other side of the line and I could not do that. She told me that there were some corrections and they encircled it already. Wow. Big help. Whoopee. She cant correct it because she doesn’t know how to use the program. I don’t think that is true. Damn it. I also did not know how to use those programs but I took a crash course on them. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to learn one of them. If you have the will, there will always be a way. If you don’t have a will, there are plenty of excuses. So anyways, this boss of mine told me that I should be the one to call the meeting so that we could revise it. I call the meeting? I call the meeting?!!! For what? So I could better be acquainted with their laziness? No thank you very much. First things first. They are friends of mine but I am afraid that if I call a meeting, I would say the things that I ought to say and regret it for the rest of my life. I just feel like I am doing something that I shouldn’t be doing. Someone else is not doing their job and damn it. Just damn it.
I would just like to say I don’t care anymore but damn it, I care about that stupid annual. Our classmates placed their trust on us and well I just cant do the things I want to do without regarding the consequences. They should be tried for stupidity. They should be tried for laziness. Arrrrrgggghhhh!
A few years back, I believe that was senior college, our president announced the yearbook staff. Now correct me if I am wrong here, but aren’t you suppose to volunteer for such a job? Anyways, I was surprised to hear my name on the list, they told the class I was the asst. art editor. So okay, I had like no other choice but to shrug my shoulders. I mean all I had to do was come up with some “artistic ideas” right? That was the first assumption that led to my present-day grave.
Two summers went by with no one bothering to finish the yearbook. Sure they called meetings but to discuss what? If you ask me, they called meetings in order to discuss how we could top the previous meetings’ uselessness. In any case, two stupid summers went by and all we had was an unfinished yearbook. No one wanted to take responsibility for it. If you ask me, it is just a case of bad management. Anyways, people kept asking me how the yearbook was going and well, dammit, I thought, someone has got to care for this yearbook. Someone has to take responsibility. That was the second thought that led me to my present-day grave.
So I volunteered to do the job. The funny/exasperating thing when I got the zip diskette , I found out that every file had been erased. Kaput. Nowhere to be found. So what could I do but to redo the whole yearbook? DO you know how tiring that stupid job could be? But again, what could I do, I just told myself that I volunteered for the job and that I am to face the music. So anyways, I hired someone good to help me with the yearbook. He works for a local government official. I hired him at the height of political campaigns. Actually I begged him, hired would imply he needed the job, begged is more appropriate. We would work in his office until midnight. He didn’t want us to work much later as he feared for both our lives. (Since he worked for a govt official, it was inevitable that he received death threats for breakfast… the office where we work is not that safe). Imagine, I would go home late, riding a motorcycle just for that yearbook. So I finished the yearbook. Still, there were some missing pages because the “most efficient yearbook staff of the whole wide universe” failed to send it to me. Overall, I learned how to beg, how to maximize finances, how to pull everything just to finish that yearbook. Come end of this summer, i presented the work to the lay-out artists, who basically did nothing but to sit on their butts and I don’t know. They told me that they had to put in some revisions, and I told them to revise those things they deemed necessary. One semester. They had the files, they had the hard copy, and they did nothing. They did not even numbered the pictures.
Last night, I received a phone call from my editor telling me all about it. She told me we were again having another meeting. I wanted to ask if we were to meet about the recent APEC conference and the consequence of the WTC bombings and anthrax scare. Actually the meeting will be about how to make a mountain out of a mole hill and how we are to sit in one circle and do nothing. I wanted to wring her neck. I wanted to wring all the other yearbook staffers’ neck. Incompetence should be a crime. Fortunately she was on the other side of the line and I could not do that. She told me that there were some corrections and they encircled it already. Wow. Big help. Whoopee. She cant correct it because she doesn’t know how to use the program. I don’t think that is true. Damn it. I also did not know how to use those programs but I took a crash course on them. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to learn one of them. If you have the will, there will always be a way. If you don’t have a will, there are plenty of excuses. So anyways, this boss of mine told me that I should be the one to call the meeting so that we could revise it. I call the meeting? I call the meeting?!!! For what? So I could better be acquainted with their laziness? No thank you very much. First things first. They are friends of mine but I am afraid that if I call a meeting, I would say the things that I ought to say and regret it for the rest of my life. I just feel like I am doing something that I shouldn’t be doing. Someone else is not doing their job and damn it. Just damn it.
I would just like to say I don’t care anymore but damn it, I care about that stupid annual. Our classmates placed their trust on us and well I just cant do the things I want to do without regarding the consequences. They should be tried for stupidity. They should be tried for laziness. Arrrrrgggghhhh!
Almost Famous
Date: 22 Oct, 2001
I had lunch with this almost famous person (if you consider having your face splashed all around the billboards of manila as famous, then I guess he is pretty famous). I was quite surprised to see that he was very good looking. He didn’t quite fit my image of him. Anyways, he was attired in this outfit reminiscent of John Travolta’s Grease. My mind immediately heard this imaginary music playing – “Go grease lightning go grease lightning go…” upon seeing him. Hmmm, I wonder if he saw that movie. That lunch is one for the books. Hahaha. It was so funny. He looked like some sort of a movie star ( his belt was like a WWF world title belt)… actually he is a movie star, but that is besides the point.
* * *
Hotel food sucks. Hotel iced coffees suck. They charge you a gazillion bucks for something that tastes like crap. McDonalds serve better coffee than that. Tastes like toasted rice. Anyways it was a fun change. Well I will sign off now, I still need to go to church. Ciao.
La Dolce Vita
Date: 14 Oct, 2001
I spent the weekend with my old friends in a nearby province and it will go down in history as one of the most enjoyable and relaxing weekends i ever had. I thank the Lord everyday for providing me with friends like that. I only wish everyone could have friends like mine. Each one of them is a rock unto which i lean on to. I am rich indeed...
* * *
Why do some people opt to have a relationship that emotionally drains them? I have this friends who really likes to get into the thick of things. She really loves to get into relationships that sucks. Like recently, she agreed to enter into a relationship even when the guy told her that there are other women in his life. She agreed. Hello? Anyways she is asking for our help but i told her that she could always come to us anytime and we will always be there. I also told her that we cannot help her unless she decides to help herself first. SHe has got to realize that it takes two to tango and that the problems she is now in is a product of how she sees herself as an individual. Another friend advised that she go and have another relationship with another less worrysome guy, guy B. The problem with guy B, although he comes with less complications, is that he also spells trouble. I think that entering into another relationship is not the solution. My friend needs to find herself and love herself. Unless she learns that, she would always be into relationships that sucks....
***
"I smell therefore i am"
October 5 2001
Whenever christmas season approaches, i smell it. Most people see it, a handful hear it, some feel it , but only a few smell it. I know because whenever i tell this to my friends, they would give me this weird "what-are-you-talking-about-look". I don't know why they don't smell it. No, i don't have some sort of lesion in the brain.I mean take a sniff, and you will smell it! I really can't describe the smell. But i can describe what i feel when i smell it.
It is like everything is okay. It is like every stress you've put up with pales in comparison when you think about what happened 2000 years ago in a dirty manger. It is being reminded of who you are and how special you are in God's eyes. It is listening to a music only you can hear. It is dancing to a tune that only the stars could beat. It is knowing that one's future is secure not because we know what it holds for us, but because we know who holds it for us. It is like the feeling one gets on a rainy day with a cup of hot chocolate on your side, only a hundred times better. It is listening to your soul. It simplifies things. Helps you focus on things that really matter.
I smell Christmas, as ridiculous as it may sound, i smell it. Despite the recent tragedies, i still smell good tidings. And thank God, i still smell it... I smell, therefore i am.
* *
Whenever christmas season approaches, i smell it. Most people see it, a handful hear it, some feel it , but only a few smell it. I know because whenever i tell this to my friends, they would give me this weird "what-are-you-talking-about-look". I don't know why they don't smell it. No, i don't have some sort of lesion in the brain.I mean take a sniff, and you will smell it! I really can't describe the smell. But i can describe what i feel when i smell it.
It is like everything is okay. It is like every stress you've put up with pales in comparison when you think about what happened 2000 years ago in a dirty manger. It is being reminded of who you are and how special you are in God's eyes. It is listening to a music only you can hear. It is dancing to a tune that only the stars could beat. It is knowing that one's future is secure not because we know what it holds for us, but because we know who holds it for us. It is like the feeling one gets on a rainy day with a cup of hot chocolate on your side, only a hundred times better. It is listening to your soul. It simplifies things. Helps you focus on things that really matter.
I smell Christmas, as ridiculous as it may sound, i smell it. Despite the recent tragedies, i still smell good tidings. And thank God, i still smell it... I smell, therefore i am.
* *
"Awakening "
Date: 19 Sep, 2001
They say that all things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. With the recent WTC bombing, the terrorists united americans and the whole world.
I especially felt proud of the way the americans handled the situation... the firefighters chanting "USA! USA!", the houses and establishments proudly displaying the american flag, the first year medical students who though cannot understand what to do in such emergencies, gave blood (the best they could do), the countless volunteers and blood donors... all of them a living proof to president bush's statement that the bombs of the terrorists could melt the steels of the buildings, but could never destroy the steel of american resolve.
The terrorists succeeded alright. They succeeded in awakening the spirit of the american people. No nuclear weapon could ever destroy that. They may try but that's all they could do.
"One fine day"
Date: 10 Sep, 2001
I joined this medical organization whose main reason for existence is to go to underprivileged places and render free medical services. Being a second year medical student, i barely know anything about those kind of stuff. I mean, this is as real as it was going to get. I was going to have real patients, with real needs and real sickness. No more pretending! This was friggin' real.
The place we went to was like a nursing home except that at this home, they were abandoned by their children. Forgotten and forsaken. To their relatives, they were as good as dead. No one visits them, no one greets them happy birthdays, no one greets them merry christmas. No one. How sad to end up in that place. We saw some old women (probably in their 80s) just wanting to talk to us. THere was this woman who was bedridden and only wished that we sing to her. Someone sang a beautiful tagalog christmas song that made the old woman's eye sparkle and made mine brim with tears. Another old woman there kept telling me that she will give me the money she won in a singing contest decades ago. She claimed to be the owner of the manila jockey and yacht club... Still, i had a chance to talk to an old man who asked me to write some dedication for him in his notebook. THe dedications in the notebook keep him company, he says...
+++
In between history taking, and vital sign taking, i observed the volunteers in that nursing home. They really cared for their patients! They are made of a different kind of stuff. They could have gotten another job, but they chose to be in that institution. I know they are not well-compensated money wise, but i believe that they hear a different music... dance to a different beat... heed to a different calling...
I don't know if i am brave enough to answer such a call, i hope to be that brave one day. But for now, i could only applaud them. They are the stuff heroes are made of.
++++
When we bade them goodbye, i saw "the look" that patch adams referred to in his movie. You know the look that says thank you, the look that speaks so much of gratitude, the kind of look that wipes away all the tiredness, the look that inspires you to go on, the look that tells you it has been one fine day.
Life is really worth living. :)
I joined this medical organization whose main reason for existence is to go to underprivileged places and render free medical services. Being a second year medical student, i barely know anything about those kind of stuff. I mean, this is as real as it was going to get. I was going to have real patients, with real needs and real sickness. No more pretending! This was friggin' real.
The place we went to was like a nursing home except that at this home, they were abandoned by their children. Forgotten and forsaken. To their relatives, they were as good as dead. No one visits them, no one greets them happy birthdays, no one greets them merry christmas. No one. How sad to end up in that place. We saw some old women (probably in their 80s) just wanting to talk to us. THere was this woman who was bedridden and only wished that we sing to her. Someone sang a beautiful tagalog christmas song that made the old woman's eye sparkle and made mine brim with tears. Another old woman there kept telling me that she will give me the money she won in a singing contest decades ago. She claimed to be the owner of the manila jockey and yacht club... Still, i had a chance to talk to an old man who asked me to write some dedication for him in his notebook. THe dedications in the notebook keep him company, he says...
+++
In between history taking, and vital sign taking, i observed the volunteers in that nursing home. They really cared for their patients! They are made of a different kind of stuff. They could have gotten another job, but they chose to be in that institution. I know they are not well-compensated money wise, but i believe that they hear a different music... dance to a different beat... heed to a different calling...
I don't know if i am brave enough to answer such a call, i hope to be that brave one day. But for now, i could only applaud them. They are the stuff heroes are made of.
++++
When we bade them goodbye, i saw "the look" that patch adams referred to in his movie. You know the look that says thank you, the look that speaks so much of gratitude, the kind of look that wipes away all the tiredness, the look that inspires you to go on, the look that tells you it has been one fine day.
Life is really worth living. :)
"hot coffee and relationships in a cold restaurant"
Date: 6 Sep, 2001
Relationships, be it a boy-girl, man-woman, friend-friend, etc., are like hot coffees in a cold restaurant. You need the drink to keep you warm. The place is cold, and something ought to keep us warm.
The first step in buying a coffee is deciding the type of coffee you want. This somehow reflects your personality, although it, in no way masks the personality of your coffee. Are you a latte person? An all-black person? Perhaps a moccachino kind of guy? In anyways, we buy the coffee our palate approves of.
The next step is finding a comfortable place where you could enjoy your coffee. Of course one usually buys hot coffee on a rainy day and would usually want to sit near a window to observe the outside world. One congratulates oneself that in this cold rainy day, one is sitting with a very hot coffee. Unless, you're a masochist, you would not want to drink your hot coffee right away. YOu could get hurt. The keyword here is slowly. Hot coffees are enjoyed by sipping, not by gulping.
Eventually, you and your coffee lapse into a comfortable phase, you read your favorite book and after a while, forget the coffee. Finally, when you remember to drink your coffee, you find out that it is not that hot anymore and God forbid, it is a bit cold! It is no longer the coffee you wanted... it is still made up of the same caffein, but somehow it is different. The feel is different. And you long for the hot coffee. You feel the cool breeze of the airconditioning system and you reminisce the good old hot coffee. Where is my hot coffee? 'Tis a stranger before me! So the question that immediately comes to your mind is - should i get another cup of coffee? But it is too much expensive. One has to get up, walk towards the counter and again decide what kind of coffee you want. Too much work you say. But it is cold and you need something to keep you warm. The answer? Don't get up. Ask the waiter to get a coffee warmer.
"edukayshun"
Date: 5 Sep, 2001
I go to this coffee shop and i guess i am one of their regular customers... Actually i am the only regular customer of that shop. Too expensive i guess, but the ambiance there is well worth the somewhat average food. Anyways, this cashier girl came up to me and started asking questions about my studies. I told her that i am taking up medicine and that all in all, medicine is an additional ten years of schooling after high school. I think she already asked me the same question before and i think i elicited the same answer. This girl would always get some twinkle in her eyes when i mention the word "doctor". "Doctor" - twinkle. "Doctor"-twinkle. "Doctor"-twinkle. I found out yesterday that her dream in life is to become a doctor but she doesnt have the money to pursue that dream...
Why is medical education expensive or any education for that matter? If we are to battle the poverty that is crippling our nation, we need to know that education, quality education is the way to go. There needs to be a reprioritization. (to the background of michael jackson's heal the world :))
More of this when i have the time.
I go to this coffee shop and i guess i am one of their regular customers... Actually i am the only regular customer of that shop. Too expensive i guess, but the ambiance there is well worth the somewhat average food. Anyways, this cashier girl came up to me and started asking questions about my studies. I told her that i am taking up medicine and that all in all, medicine is an additional ten years of schooling after high school. I think she already asked me the same question before and i think i elicited the same answer. This girl would always get some twinkle in her eyes when i mention the word "doctor". "Doctor" - twinkle. "Doctor"-twinkle. "Doctor"-twinkle. I found out yesterday that her dream in life is to become a doctor but she doesnt have the money to pursue that dream...
Why is medical education expensive or any education for that matter? If we are to battle the poverty that is crippling our nation, we need to know that education, quality education is the way to go. There needs to be a reprioritization. (to the background of michael jackson's heal the world :))
More of this when i have the time.
"One night at McDo's"
August 27 2001
Gang members:
Revo People:
Sam the driver
Me An
Eichelle
Aj the goddess
Majo
Obe
Jo Virata
Beij
Me and the gang went out last Saturday night. Out is the operative word. We did not get into the bar we wanted and the other and the other... We made reservations and since there was a long line, we decided to go try the new fries at McDonalds. Yes, my dear watson, mcdonalds. After having our fill of fries and after updating each other with the latest news, we decided to head back to the bar. Surprise, surprise, they had a power failure. So we went back to mcdonalds, but this time it was already close, so we ("the cool gang") decided to hang out at the parking lot. Wow. Parking lot. Nothing but yellow lines and pavement. I have to admit that hanging out there was just as exciting as a biochemistry class. One good thing that happened was the fact that i got to see my old friends again. No bar could ever top that.
Stalker
Date: 24 Aug, 2001
About 2 weeks ago, I received a text message on my celfone. It came from an unknown number. It asked me if i could be his text mate (some sort of phone pal). I thought that it was merely a friend of mine who changed his number. So i asked him to identify himself. He told me that he was someone who knew me by face and not by name... told me he wanted to be friends. He even knew my former celfone number. Upon further questioning, i found out that he lives in my neighborhood (u know the high strung one?). At this point i got alarmed. The only one in that neighborhood who knows my number is an old guy who manages a certain condominium there. (i believe he is a friend of that old guy). This was far from flattering. ( believe me, his messages were also far from flattering) Here comes a stranger who goes through all the trouble of obtaining your celfone number... not a very comforting thought. My immediate reaction was to get frightened. I usually go home alone (at night)and it is creepy to know that someone you dont know is watching you. He might be some psychotic person. I politely told him that i didnt have the capacity to be a good text mate (of course i didnt want to get this guy's ire)... until now i don't know who this guy is.. it is a good thing he stopped texting... still it bothers me.
"I refuse to choose"
Date: 23 Aug, 2001
I have two dear friends who generally dislike one another secretly. Well at least one of them doesnt like the other. Anyways, this other friend (R) of mine would always come to me when she has problems and i am more than happy to listen to them and offer her a shoulder she could cry on. She is the type of girl that needs to have a lot of emotional support. Twinkle, on the other hand is a very strong girl. Small things doesnt bother her as much as it bothers R. R is very affectionate to me and not that affectionate to her roommate and my dear friend twinkle. I know that twinkle is merely joking when yesterday, R invited me for snacks (something was wrong with R for my classmate saw her crying a while ago) and twinkle told me that i was choosing R over her. I know it was all joke but twinkle has a way of making me feel guilty for things i shouldnt feel guilty about. :)
I really couldn't give R much of my attention yesterday as twinkle and andy showed up in the same resto. I felt guilty "being" a friend to R, but she needs me to be there. R is not as strong as twinkle. I hope twinkle gets that. So twinkle, i refuse to choose. I value your friendship as well as R's equally. Unequal attention but same value
I have two dear friends who generally dislike one another secretly. Well at least one of them doesnt like the other. Anyways, this other friend (R) of mine would always come to me when she has problems and i am more than happy to listen to them and offer her a shoulder she could cry on. She is the type of girl that needs to have a lot of emotional support. Twinkle, on the other hand is a very strong girl. Small things doesnt bother her as much as it bothers R. R is very affectionate to me and not that affectionate to her roommate and my dear friend twinkle. I know that twinkle is merely joking when yesterday, R invited me for snacks (something was wrong with R for my classmate saw her crying a while ago) and twinkle told me that i was choosing R over her. I know it was all joke but twinkle has a way of making me feel guilty for things i shouldnt feel guilty about. :)
I really couldn't give R much of my attention yesterday as twinkle and andy showed up in the same resto. I felt guilty "being" a friend to R, but she needs me to be there. R is not as strong as twinkle. I hope twinkle gets that. So twinkle, i refuse to choose. I value your friendship as well as R's equally. Unequal attention but same value
"Warning shots and stupid action flicks"
Date: 23 Aug, 2001
Okay so i have so many entries for august 23. So sue me...:)
I went home and i immediately fell asleep. I was so tired that i was only roused up from my sleep when a commotion was happening outside the house. Have i ever told you that the neighborhood i am currently staying in is full of adventure? First off, the house that i am staying in is also known as "the haunted house", it is an ancient house (one that's been there ever since the spanish era - no kidding! i think it is about a century old) full of mirrors and old pictures, really old pictures. In cases of brownouts, i would force myself to sleep so that i wouldn't get scared. The neighborhood there is high strung. I would often wake up in the middle of the night by fraternity wars happening right in front of the house. Today was no exception. A woman's voice was screaming, and a number of men were gathering around this lunatic. He wanted to fight someone and they were stopping him from doing so. I peered through my window and i saw some men gathering metal baseball bats, this was not play time, i thought. Some police men (i don't if they were, they had guns) got their guns (which made me duck) and made warning shots. Those fools! Where did they get the idea to fire? Didn't they know that the last time somebody did that, the bullet went to the house i was staying in? Too much stupid action flicks i suppose. Anyways, i am alive, considering that he shot some two meters from my room. Whew! What a day. :)
"An angel amidst the flood"
August 23 2006
So i braved the rain. I was hoping to catch a ride with noah's ark but i missed it. It must have took a left turn somewhere. I headed towards the street which "i thought" was less flooded. Boy, was i wrong. I had no umbrella with me, only a not-so-rain-proof rain proof coat. One and a half hours of standing in the rain passed by before i noticed him. He was a man of medium built and height, around 60 + years old, one eye functional,one eye blind. He had no umbrella (like me), no coat (unlike me), and he looked hungry. He was a beggar. He wasn't an active beggar. He just stood there looking hopeless and tired. Nobody minded him. I took note of him but i did not mind him. where is that jeep? I saw this beggar kid approach the old man. Kid gives one peso to the old man. Old Man smiles. Kid handing old man everything. Old man refuses. Me getting chastised. I thought, if only I weren't a girl and that approaching him would not pose a possibility of harassment, i would give the old man money... Christianity is not about going to church on sundays. It's about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. I let go of all my if's and amidst the downpour, headed towards the old man.
His name was mang bot. He used to be a house painter but when he got a stroke, half of his body got paralyzed and consequently he got unemployed. He had no wife nor parents, but he lives with his brother in some stall. In filipino lingo, that is tantamount to being homeless. I asked him if he ate lunch already, and he told me he only had coffee for breakfast and has not had any lunch. Mang bot did not ask me for money but i fished for a twenty peso bill and gave it to him. Mang bot smiled at me and told me that he was going to buy vegetables and bread for lunch. I thought that won't suffice. I usually have meat, rice, vegetables, soup and coke every day. My twenty pesos wouldn't get him through the day. I would never see mang bot again so i asked him to give me back my twenty pesos (which he did) and i exchanged my 100 pesos for it. He refused to take it saying it was too much. I insisted. He refused. The only way i could get him to accept the money was to tell him that i would get offended if he did not accept the money. Finally he took the money. He then looked at me with eyes full of tears and gratitude. I met those eyes with tears of my own. I don't know why i almost cried, but i did. He was so happy that i couldnt help but be happy too. God i felt good. Here was a man who was so poor and here i am having everything i needed. Such contrast! As mang bot walked away, I blinked back tears as he told me that he would always pray for me and that he would ask God to bless me.
"And the heavens opened..."
Date: 23 Aug, 2001
In the bible, they said that it took 40 days and 40 nights of rain to flood the ancient times. If noah built his ark here in my school, it would only take about three hours for noah and the gang to go sailing. I really think that surfing or scuba diving should be the sport of choice of us medical students.
11:10 am... i am here, again, in front of this computer ( which is taking up too much of my time), typing the day away. I have reprioritized my values for the moment...computer first, study later. :) Classes are suspended, those who want to stay in school should be equipped with a snorkel at the very least, flippers are optional. I have neither the desire to wade (or in this case, swim) in the murky waters nor the courage to stop a jeepney in this blasted rainy day. So i stay, hoping that the waters won't rise to a disastrous level. Manila has no underwater corals to boast off and they couldn't force me to go out in the streets even for a million dollars (now if it's 2 million dollars...).
Excuse me while i end this entry, i have to put this dove out so i could see whether the flood has receded...
"Totally platonic and loving it"
Date: 23 Aug, 2001
I talked to this guy friend of mine last night. Somehow, everytime i talk to him, i thank God that i have him for a friend. What i love most about him is that he could keep a very intimate friendship and still keep it platonic. I could talk to him about the most trivial things and he would still find the time to enthusiastically listen... OF course I also have to put up with his stories... Jojo could talk to you all day about his emotional experiences about buying a pair of pants. Jojo is weird but he is very much appreciated.
Actually most guys envy jojo. As of the moment, he is what they refer to as the only thorn among the roses. The only guy member in a group of girls. If you want to court a girl, jojo is the guy to go to. He is the keeper of the girls' secrets. Their bodyguard. Their gentleman. Their errand boy. :)My friend for life, jojo.
Inferno
Date: 20 Aug, 2001
I don't know if it made international news, i think i saw it being reported on BBC, but here in the Philippines, another tragedy broke out, that of the Manor Hotel catching fire and that 72 people died. Most of these people were Christians from far flung places and they flew in from manila to attend a Christian conference. Ironically, the conference was entitled "Destiny Conference"... some destiny.
Three of my friends were involved in this accident. Unfortunately, all three died. Died. Dead. Kaput. No more.... Oh God, i don't know what to say. It all seems surreal that i should hear their names in every news channel. They weren't bad people, they were very nice people... in fact they were here to know more about God, what happened??!! I know they say that there is a purpose in everything and i really believe that, but right now, it is as if there is just one big smokescreen. Like the biblical character Job, you want to ask God why. Why them? Why that tragedy? They could have died in a less dramatic fashion, but why like that? Question after question... All i know is, God is in control...
I felt helpless watching their loved ones cry over them, how could i comfort them? I can't. They need to wallow in that state of despair. They need to feel the grief and cry all of their tears. They need to be humans. I can't say if this experience would make them stronger or wiser... i really have no idea.
This made me think that there are, like the dalmatians, 101 ways to die, and that you really do not know when your time would come to an end. So let us just live life without regrets for we really do not know what tomorrow brings.
"Wrinkles are earned, not acquired in the ideal world"
Date: 16 Aug, 2001
To celebrate the end of exam week, me and my friends went resto/bar hopping just last night. Although it was a school night, we owed it to ourselves to seize the day, or in this case, seize the night/dawn. One of the bars that we went to was full of people in their 20s, full of booze, loud music, and most of all cigarette smoke. We were all dressed casually since it was a spontaneous thing and boy, were we shocked when we saw the dresses they wore! Actually the dresses that they did not wear! I felt like an old woman with my conservative baby tee and bootleg pants. I mean next to them, i felt like some one coming from the fifteenth century. They were almost naked! That, is the girls were almost naked... the men looked good (and comfortable) in their rolled up long sleeves and slacks (ala ricky martin). Those girls must have felt cold considering they were almost in their underwears and that the aircons were on full blast. While my eyes were absorbing all of this, my mind ( which i must say, likes to think and rationalize all the time) was enlightened as to why women have more subcutaneous fat in their body than men do...(drumroll please) - so that they could be insulated from the cold temperature when they wear next to nothing clothes!
One would rarely see a guy adopt a minimalistic attitude towards clothes, this is because they couldn't tolerate the cold! Hmmmm. I guess i should submit this to the Psychiatry department. I might win a nobel prize or something for this. What a great day for mankind. :)
Seriously though, why can't men be the one who are forced to wear make up and tight tight tight next-to-invisible clothes? Why does society have to put such a premium on perfectly coiffed women? Men have the option to have good bodies, while women are supposed to have good bodies and perfectly made up faces. Of course if you don't want to go against such dictates, one is welcome to do so and you would be branded as an individualist... an ugly individualist that is. :)
So this is where i find myself - trapped in a society whose ideas i find ludicrous but at the same time, i can't help but conform with some of these not-so ideal ideas.
In an ideal world, people won't be judged by how good they look outside, they wouldn't worry about wrinkles because they would believe that "wrinkles are not acquired but are rather earned", that these wrinkles tell others of your story, how much you worried for your sick mom, how much laughter this world has given you and how much sadness it has caused you... So goodbye retin-A, goodbye collagen masks and other anti-aging devices... In an ideal world, people would give premium not on men who could lift a thousand pounds, but on men who could bear to lift other's burdens... that people would give premium not on tall cosmopolitan people but on men and women who are tall even when they are on their knees praying... i could go on and on with this list but i am afraid that it would take forever. :)
I hope there's an easy way to see people for who they are, but there is just no shortcut for this. You have to invest a lot of time, effort, laughter and tears in order to dig up their character, and you have to have a lot of courage in order to embrace them even with all their flaws... Life ain't a bed of roses, but i wouldn't have it any other way.
"Why am i in med school?"
Date: 10 Aug, 2001
Why am i in medical school? Good question... I guess it just came naturally after high school. In high school, we were given a diagnostic test which would tell whether what field we might excel in. Questions like "Do you see yourself driving a big truck five years from now? (for future firemen or fed ex people)... Love to draw? (artists) Do you hate sleeping (for future doctors)?... were given to us. . It is a lot like those psychological tests ( do you hear voices telling you to jump off a building?) one takes during college entrance exams...I think they gave us around 200 questions to answer...I dunno, i cant remember. Am feeling groggy. Been awake since 2 am (yup i was burning the midnight oil) and it is now 4 p.m. So please excuse me if i jump from one topic to another....
Anyways, i love medical school but i cant help but wonder where would i have ended up if i took up architecture (this was my second choice for college as i always wanted to design buildings, skyscrapers, etc... i love to draw, paint, sketch, etc.) or the dramatic arts ( i find directing school plays, writing scripts, providing props and make up for the actors/actress a very demanding yet highly rewarding job).
Who knows? I could have been one great director or i could have been a fledging artist. Point is, i would have been different. You see, everyone in the family is either a lawyer or a doctor. Both of my parents are lawyers (jonni, imagine how colorful the arguments are in my household) and most of their brothers and sisters are "professionals". The choice to become a doctor was a safe one. It ensured me a job when i graduate and ensured me that someday i would be a consultant (that would mean "boss" in the medical field). With my other choices, i had no inkling whether or not fate would smile upon me...
Doctors are actually undercompensated. It's like we were born to study. Imagine going from preschool then to grade school then to high school then to four years of pre med then to five years of medical school. The keyword here is forever.
And how about the financial burden that med schools impose? That is another issue.
We would be reaching our prime in our 40s while our highschool classmates would be retiring as presidents of their respective companies. So with all these things working against being a doctor, the question still remains, why am i sticking to med school?
The answer is its not the financial thing. Sure i would perhaps earn lots of money when i become a surgeon and it would be hypocritical of me to say that this aspect won't delight me, it would actually make me ecstatic and perhaps a bit delirious...
In the hospital you meet a lot of scared people, people who thought they were in control until something hit them (by something i mean disease)... this makes them vulnerable, people after all, are scared of the unknown. And this is where doctors come in (where i will come in three years from now) , to allay their fears... to treat sometimes, to alleviate pain often, and to care always. The look on people's eyes when they thank you is more than enough compensation for your sleepless nights... The happiness that parents feel when their child is saved from the clutches of death... the tears of gratitude... the joy of seeing miracles everyday... the pain that comes with seeing people grieve over the loss of a loved one... the ever increasing awareness that life should be treasured since it could be easily taken away... the drama of it all. I guess those are the reasons why i want to become a doctor.
Why am i in medical school? Good question... I guess it just came naturally after high school. In high school, we were given a diagnostic test which would tell whether what field we might excel in. Questions like "Do you see yourself driving a big truck five years from now? (for future firemen or fed ex people)... Love to draw? (artists) Do you hate sleeping (for future doctors)?... were given to us. . It is a lot like those psychological tests ( do you hear voices telling you to jump off a building?) one takes during college entrance exams...I think they gave us around 200 questions to answer...I dunno, i cant remember. Am feeling groggy. Been awake since 2 am (yup i was burning the midnight oil) and it is now 4 p.m. So please excuse me if i jump from one topic to another....
Anyways, i love medical school but i cant help but wonder where would i have ended up if i took up architecture (this was my second choice for college as i always wanted to design buildings, skyscrapers, etc... i love to draw, paint, sketch, etc.) or the dramatic arts ( i find directing school plays, writing scripts, providing props and make up for the actors/actress a very demanding yet highly rewarding job).
Who knows? I could have been one great director or i could have been a fledging artist. Point is, i would have been different. You see, everyone in the family is either a lawyer or a doctor. Both of my parents are lawyers (jonni, imagine how colorful the arguments are in my household) and most of their brothers and sisters are "professionals". The choice to become a doctor was a safe one. It ensured me a job when i graduate and ensured me that someday i would be a consultant (that would mean "boss" in the medical field). With my other choices, i had no inkling whether or not fate would smile upon me...
Doctors are actually undercompensated. It's like we were born to study. Imagine going from preschool then to grade school then to high school then to four years of pre med then to five years of medical school. The keyword here is forever.
And how about the financial burden that med schools impose? That is another issue.
We would be reaching our prime in our 40s while our highschool classmates would be retiring as presidents of their respective companies. So with all these things working against being a doctor, the question still remains, why am i sticking to med school?
The answer is its not the financial thing. Sure i would perhaps earn lots of money when i become a surgeon and it would be hypocritical of me to say that this aspect won't delight me, it would actually make me ecstatic and perhaps a bit delirious...
In the hospital you meet a lot of scared people, people who thought they were in control until something hit them (by something i mean disease)... this makes them vulnerable, people after all, are scared of the unknown. And this is where doctors come in (where i will come in three years from now) , to allay their fears... to treat sometimes, to alleviate pain often, and to care always. The look on people's eyes when they thank you is more than enough compensation for your sleepless nights... The happiness that parents feel when their child is saved from the clutches of death... the tears of gratitude... the joy of seeing miracles everyday... the pain that comes with seeing people grieve over the loss of a loved one... the ever increasing awareness that life should be treasured since it could be easily taken away... the drama of it all. I guess those are the reasons why i want to become a doctor.
Wishing for Summer days instead of hospital days
August 7 2001
Whoa, i just had another one of those it's-no-use-to-study-you'll-fail-anyway exam in Medicine... why the need to complicate matters in medicine? Oh well, the answer to that question is yet to be discovered. So anyways, all these exams make me want to be transported to summer again... Oh yes, summer in the Philippines, a tropical archipelago, is a summer to remember (minus the Abu Sayyaffs). There is actually no threat of being kidnapped by these bandits unless you go near their places of operation.
There are lots of beaches in this country and my province is an island such that anywhere you go, the beach is there, inviting you to take a swim.
Imagine crystal clear waters. Imagine pristine blue waters set against the sillhouette of the perfectly cone shaped Mayon volcano... imagine white sand... imagine no people around, just you and the noise of the birds from the nearby mountains... imagine corals in colors so vivid and bright...imagine bonsais scattered all over the place.. imagine a sky so blue that you couldnt tell where it ends and the ocean begins... all these in an undeveloped beach. No hotels, no fancy clubs, just logs for benches and birds for waiters.
**
Even if most of my peers would object, i would still say that swimming in the beach under the hot hot noon sun (around twelve pm to two pm, i.e. when just when heat waves appear) is still the best. What could be more enjoyable than burning your feet at the hot sand then diving into the cool waters for relief? Of course you have to have a sunblock lotion. GO for the SPF 45 if you plan to do this unless you want to burn real bad. Another thing i enjoy would be lying on the sand and drinking ice cold (you guessed it) coke. Sitting here in front of this computer, in this cold rainy day really defines the contrast... Am counting the days when i could finally take hold of a jet ski....
Will this matter five years from now?
Living in the city is wonderful. The fast paced life and the mountains of shopping malls, intertwined with cable TV and rockstars, gives the citydweller a cosmopolitan outlook in life. I've been living in the city for as long as i could remember.. i've been breathing the carbon monoxide of cars, trucks, buses, and lost humanity. It is easy to get lost in the city, literally and figuratively. Competitions are endless. What is the best school? What is your standing in class? How much money do you have? How many social gatherings do you go to in a year? Are you the president of your company? Social status here and there. Here , you are accepted for "what" you are.
>>>
Visiting my province was a culture shock for me. People really don't care how much money you make.. you could go to a party there and people wont notice that you are wearing an armani, or that you are sporting the new Ralph Lauren perfume. At first, I felt sorry for them. It's like, My God! These people don't even know who Jerry Seinfeld is! They are content with local TV shows, working the whole day, visiting friends and relatives during their sparetime and a whole lot of things that we city people find "boring". What? No clubs?...
A week after, I was singing a different tune. I could actually envision myself living this life!
Why do we have a knack for complicating things when it is the simple things that really makes us happy? Why do we keep searching for happiness in all the wrong places? Why the need to accumulate possessions you could flaunt during daytime, when during the wee hours of the night, all you really want is someone to hug and say goodnight to?
Like lying on the beach, stargazing with your friends and you realize that you only have a dollar in your pocket...normally, you would worry, but here, it doesn't matter. Little things that used to annoy you or make you worried, vanishes into thin air. People there are more interested with who you are. IT is therapeutic to say the least. Now I pity the city people or any person who thinks that possessions and status would complete them. It doesn't. It just makes you want for more... I pity those who stand at the ebb of their life who look back and could only force a weak smile, realizing that they should have built relationships and not empires... wanting to go back but realizing it to be impossible.
I hope that eventually i would be able to remove all the clutter in my life. Things that doesnt really matter shouldn't really bother me. Simplify would have to be my motto. I don't want to live a life i'll regret later on. So, the next time you are caught in an anxiety attack about some trivial non life changing things, ask yourself, will this matter five years from now?
Waiting or Wasting
3 Aug, 2001
I had lunch today with my friend Andy. We had been feeding our taste buds for the past few weeks with food that ranks a little bit higher than garbage, so eating out in this oriental restaurant was a treat. Besides, we need to treat ourselves to compensate for the exams we just had.. (As far as I am concerned, all tissue specimens look the same)
We basically talked about silly stuffs. Trivial stuffs. You see, when you are a med student, you need to talk about these stupid silly things, otherwise, you'd end up boring...
Suddenly the conversation turned serious. All of a sudden, the room was silent and all we could hear was our biological clocks ticking away... tick tock tick tock...
I know i said previously that i want to wait for my destiny, but somehow I cant help but wonder if I am living a fool's dream. Am I?
There is a fine line between waiting and wasting... Wise men know the difference but they died two thousand years ago... Seeing that i do not feel like contacting them thru a seance, i would have to get thru this phase with a quotation from my teacher - it is not the "when", it's the "who". :)
I had lunch today with my friend Andy. We had been feeding our taste buds for the past few weeks with food that ranks a little bit higher than garbage, so eating out in this oriental restaurant was a treat. Besides, we need to treat ourselves to compensate for the exams we just had.. (As far as I am concerned, all tissue specimens look the same)
We basically talked about silly stuffs. Trivial stuffs. You see, when you are a med student, you need to talk about these stupid silly things, otherwise, you'd end up boring...
Suddenly the conversation turned serious. All of a sudden, the room was silent and all we could hear was our biological clocks ticking away... tick tock tick tock...
I know i said previously that i want to wait for my destiny, but somehow I cant help but wonder if I am living a fool's dream. Am I?
There is a fine line between waiting and wasting... Wise men know the difference but they died two thousand years ago... Seeing that i do not feel like contacting them thru a seance, i would have to get thru this phase with a quotation from my teacher - it is not the "when", it's the "who". :)
Designated Driver for Life
Sleeping is perhaps one of the most valued "action" of medical students. We rarely get to do it and when we do, pangs of guilt would come across for not studying. The superego (as Freud would put it) has been most ingrained in our minds.
Sometimes I think that medical students were insomniacs during high school, and getting tired with all the late night TV shows, they decided to enter medical school as a hobby. We take a nap not during the night, but during lectures and occassionally (God forbid) during examinations.
***
So anyways, my friend Twinkle, invited me to a drinking spree this Friday. The objective, I think, was to get drunk... only problem here is i really don't drink. Well, actually, "really" should be removed. I don't drink. Twinkle jokingly told me that i should just order bottomless iced tea. She also said i should learn how to drive so that i could always be the designated driver. Hahaha :) I don't mean to offend the drinkers, I am not being self righteous or anything, but i really dont like the taste. its like drinking bitter herbs... or maybe my taste buds are merely unsophisticated...i'd like to believe it's the former. Coke is still the best drink for me... mmm coke and nacho chips - that's gourmet food for me! Give me coke or give me death.
"Of Brad Pitt, Cindy Crawford and Woody Allen"
Date: 1 Aug, 2001
I have this friend, Andy, who really likes a clerk (that's a fourth year medical student). Anyways, this clerk's name is Louie. Every time we pass by this clerk, Andy's (a girl) heart melts. She would alway look forward for this nanosecond encounters. It is during these encounters that the hospital seems to convert into the most romantic place known to Andy.
I don't really know if Louie knows Andy's name, let alone know her existence... Does he know that he has a sympathomimetic effect on my friend? That everytime he flashes that smile of his, he is in danger of giving my friend a cardiac arrest?
My friend is no Cindy Crawford. But I'll bet you that Louie would be lucky if he could get Andy to be his girl... Andy's one of the most loveable person I have ever met. The problem with society is that we have labelled people. If you look like this, then you must be like this... If you look like a duck, talk like a duck, walk like a duck, then you must be a duck... Good looking people should be with good looking people... At least that is what we are made to believe. I am not saying that I am above this system, I am actually prone to conceding with this idea... But it is just not right. I bet it would be simpler if everyone's outer appearance would reflect their inner nature... You selfish? That's another acne for you... You help the poor? Ah, that's clear skin for you... But it is so not the case.
Who started the concept of good looking? If every male looked like Brad Pitt and only one male looked like Woody Allen (no offense meant), would woody Allen be the most handsome person that ever lived?
We have to dig deeper, but the problem is, once we find that the superficial is way okay, we are afraid to look deeper. Prince Charming may be your evil stepmother in disguise. Maybe that is why a crush is so different from love. A crush is someone you "like" because of, a loved one is someone you "like" despite of...
Crunch Time for those Infinite Medical Exams
Date: 31 Jul, 2001
Exams are a dime a dozen in med school, so while our classmates were busy studying for the Surgery exam, my friend and I chatted the time away. We talked about movies that basically made us think... about love and destiny. We both don't have a "special friend" ( remember how Gwyneth described Ben Affleck?) right now.. actually we never had any. I am no wallflower, I've had my share of suitors but i really don't entertain them... Why? Because i believe in something called destiny. Now i don't know if destiny is something our mothers made up just to make us wait but i believe it's true... it has to be true... :) I really believe that somewhere out there, there's one person whom God is preparing especially for me... I don't know who he is... Have i met him? I don't know... Have we crossed paths before? Is he Josh Hartnett (of Pearl Harbor) hehehe :) I don't have the answers, but I know that at the proper time and place, I'll meet him. I don't want to sell myself short.
First year medical Student
Date: 30 Jul, 2001
Number: 354 of 354 memoirs
"That thing called Pathology"
Okay so this is the first time i'm going to write my thoughts online. I don't know if my real life diary would be jealous... guess i'll have to take the chance. I just had the hardest exam in my entire life and I owe it all to a subject called pathology. I never realized that ELISA's were supposed to be important in my life. Hahaha... The agonies of med school. MEd school is fun though... If you consider sleeping with a surgery book as your pillow, if you consider dissecting a cadaver as memorable, if you find the Kreb's cycle to be more exciting than the roller coaster, then Med school is definitely wild. The exam i took earlier drained me and my wallet ( all that stress increased my appetite)so i have to log off...
Number: 354 of 354 memoirs
"That thing called Pathology"
Okay so this is the first time i'm going to write my thoughts online. I don't know if my real life diary would be jealous... guess i'll have to take the chance. I just had the hardest exam in my entire life and I owe it all to a subject called pathology. I never realized that ELISA's were supposed to be important in my life. Hahaha... The agonies of med school. MEd school is fun though... If you consider sleeping with a surgery book as your pillow, if you consider dissecting a cadaver as memorable, if you find the Kreb's cycle to be more exciting than the roller coaster, then Med school is definitely wild. The exam i took earlier drained me and my wallet ( all that stress increased my appetite)so i have to log off...
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